Episode 10

[Sheila Kennedy]

DAMN! I thought I had this HOH in the bag and now I HAVE to get the last password and hope that Sarah can't get them both. At first I thought I was screwed because I thought everyone would gang up on my with their flamethrowers because they wouldn't want to see me get another HOH, but then all of a sudden I just see everyone attacking each other so I just sat back and watched. Will got out and Nathan was down to 20 so I told Natalie we should hit him to knock him out and then Nathan hit Natalie so she obviously was going to do it. Butttttttttt I really didn't want to piss off Nathan so I just pretended like my laptop overheated and I signed off AIM for about 20 minutes. Then when I got back on Natty was freaking out and I was like "oh I think I'm going to make a picture" which took another 20 minutes. But in the end I never had to hit Nathan. But I couldn't stall any longer or else Natalie woulda been fuming so I had to hit Sarah. Then I planned on going to bed soon so I told Natalie we should take out Sarah and then I'd just let Natalie hit me. So we got Sarah down to 20, and then Sarah asked me to lay off her for awhile so she could lower Natalie. So I was like PERFECT because I woulda had to do like nothing to get the most points. But then I fell asleep and I guess Natty did too and Sarah ended up getting me out. UGH!!! I had that in the bag!! Now if Sarah can get in both of the passwords, she wins, unless if she fucks up something else in the HOH. And I need to get in both of them to have any shot, and I have to hope I didn't mess anything else up. Ugh this all sucks. I wanted either Natty or myself to win and now it looks like Sarah will or maybe even Nathan can still pull off a win if Sarah can't get in either of them. Grrrrrrrrr I hate this. Curse my early morning exam that caused me to go to bed early!!

[Sheila Kennedy]

OK so um, I totally regret winning that HOH. I am so power hungry and now I'm just becoming a mess because I'm trying to please everyone which is obviously impossible and UGH it's so harddddddddddd.

Anyways, Nathan and Sarah wanted Natalie up so desperately, and I agreed and said I'd put her up as a replacement and now there's like a whole backdoor plan to evict Natalie and I'm NOT cool with it but I'm just acting like I am in case she does leave or something. But Natalie I don't think would betray me, and I'd feel horrible betraying her, even if it is Seb. Getting rid of her would fuck my game up so bad because if the final 3 was me/her/nathan I think they'd both take me but Nathan obviously wants her gone so he can have his final 3 of Sarah/Me/Him so both will take him which I'm NOT cool with. So Natalie needs to stay somehow and if not then fuck this. -_-

[Sheila Kennedy]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SO CONFUSED ON WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO WIN THIS HOH?!?! I DONT WANT TO BE HOH ANYMORE!!! *throws key on the ground* I REFUUSSSSSE! REFUSE to make a replacement nominee! I can't do it!!! UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I am such a mess.

[Sheila Kennedy]

I hate this game. I feel like such a bitch for stabbing Natalie in the back like that. I seriously cannot believe I did it. But I guess I felt like I was either stabbing Nat or Nate in the back and I was hoping it would just work out but it's not. I was hoping Nathan would force a tie because I talked about how badly I wanted to be the one to break the tie and send him home, but I don't think he trusts me because he's voting Natalie out himself. I guess it's smart for him to not believe me because I'd keep Natalie. I really don't want her to leave and I don't know why I ever did. Now I'm in such a shitty position and I feel like I have to win competitions to get to the end because the one person I think would have taken me is now going to be voted out. I wish I could trust Nathan but I just have this horrid feeling that he's with Sarah. Maybe I should try working something out with Will, but that's just gross. I hate this.