Obviously it's not "just a game" to me and I couldn't go through with it. Call me a sap, call me too emotional for this game, whatever you want. Bottom line I got to the final 3 with the two people I worked closest with throughout the game. Did I pick the two strongest to insure I would be safe? Yes. But, what is wrong with that? At the end I couldn't backstab Nathan. Here is our AIM convo where I literally changed my vote at the last minute....
"Evan/Nathan" (4:31:12 PM): hey
Buffy Zanzibar (4:31:36 PM): hey
"Evan/Nathan" (4:32:32 PM): you sure are dragging this out
Buffy Zanzibar (4:36:13 PM): I know - I wanted to talk to you before I posted it
"Evan/Nathan" (4:36:21 PM): so you are voting for me then?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:40:14 PM): I have been loyal to you and Sheila up until this point...and I have gone back and forth on this all day . I just feel like at this point I need something back from you - and you can't give it to me. And bottom line it's a game. If I keep you it's like I'm just evicting myself at the end.
"Evan/Nathan" (4:40:32 PM): i've already given to you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:40:36 PM): i evicted seb for you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:40:46 PM): dragging him to the end would have been easy for me
Buffy Zanzibar (4:40:51 PM): you and Sheila are taking each other
Buffy Zanzibar (4:40:54 PM): I know this
Buffy Zanzibar (4:41:12 PM): if there was an equality it would be different
"Evan/Nathan" (4:41:15 PM): so all that talk about how you felt so bad about screwing sheila over and you felt so terrible
"Evan/Nathan" (4:41:19 PM): and how you cried?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:41:23 PM): no
"Evan/Nathan" (4:41:23 PM): i shouldnt have believed you?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:41:26 PM): that was all true
"Evan/Nathan" (4:41:35 PM): and now you want to do it again?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:41:35 PM): I was always going to take you
Buffy Zanzibar (4:41:53 PM): but tell me I'm wrong
"Evan/Nathan" (4:41:59 PM): you're wrong
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:14 PM): and i feel like i need something back from you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:19 PM): i helped you win a veto
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:22 PM): i evicted seb
Buffy Zanzibar (4:42:23 PM): I know
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:26 PM): and you are gonna vote me out?
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:33 PM): if you want me to promise to take you, then i will
Buffy Zanzibar (4:42:39 PM): are you going to vote me out if you win ?
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:43 PM): i never wanted to make a promise
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:46 PM): but
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:50 PM): i havent made it with sheila
Buffy Zanzibar (4:42:53 PM): well I feel like there is an unspoken promise
"Evan/Nathan" (4:42:56 PM): so i might as well make one
Buffy Zanzibar (4:43:22 PM): but I don't want you to say it now just because you're mad at me and you figure you can just lie to me
Buffy Zanzibar (4:43:30 PM): and honestly
"Evan/Nathan" (4:43:32 PM): i don't lie to you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:43:37 PM): i think i have showed that already
Buffy Zanzibar (4:43:37 PM): I don't either
"Evan/Nathan" (4:45:02 PM): im just really shocked
"Evan/Nathan" (4:45:05 PM): i never expected this
Buffy Zanzibar (4:45:29 PM): well that's why I'm talking to you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:45:36 PM): i was full on helping you win this veto here, and even though i didnt actually help, i still wouldnt think you would
Buffy Zanzibar (4:45:50 PM): I had no intention of not keeping you
Buffy Zanzibar (4:46:23 PM): and when I talked to you today I just thought
Buffy Zanzibar (4:46:30 PM): ugh I have gone back and forth so many times
Buffy Zanzibar (4:46:57 PM): because on one hand I just want to say - okay, I wanted to be F3 with you and Sheila - let's just play and someone deserving can win
Buffy Zanzibar (4:47:05 PM): because yes, I would rather see you win than Will
Buffy Zanzibar (4:47:24 PM): but if it's a lock that you and Sheila will take each other - than I'm really a fool
"Evan/Nathan" (4:47:39 PM): it's not a lock though
Buffy Zanzibar (4:48:38 PM): well to be honest - my head tells me one thing and my gut tells me another
Buffy Zanzibar (4:49:04 PM): I really don't want to vote you out
"Evan/Nathan" (4:49:05 PM): im just so surprised that you want to do this after what happened with sheila earlier
Buffy Zanzibar (4:49:13 PM): I don't want to
"Evan/Nathan" (4:49:14 PM): i gave you another chance and i thought we were on the same level
"Evan/Nathan" (4:49:26 PM): ive never opened up like this to someone in a game before
"Evan/Nathan" (4:49:37 PM): i dont talk to sheila nearly as much as i talk to you
"Evan/Nathan" (4:50:01 PM): so yeah 4th place is a great finish, but this would easily be most painful elimination from a game just considering who it came from
Buffy Zanzibar (4:50:24 PM): ugh
Buffy Zanzibar (4:50:32 PM): I really hate this game
Buffy Zanzibar (4:51:21 PM): I feel exactly the same way I did before
Buffy Zanzibar (4:51:49 PM): you know what? I don't even care - you can Sheila can win and take each other
"Evan/Nathan" (4:53:01 PM): i dont get how you think that's sucha a guarantee
Buffy Zanzibar (4:53:20 PM): it's not a guarantee
"Evan/Nathan" (4:53:23 PM): and speaking for myself, getting to the final 3 with my 2 best friends in the game is winning enough
Buffy Zanzibar (4:54:37 PM): You're right
Buffy Zanzibar (4:54:48 PM): I tried to look at this as "just a game"
Buffy Zanzibar (4:54:55 PM): and I obviously can't
Buffy Zanzibar (4:55:06 PM): I can't do this
Buffy Zanzibar (5:00:00 PM): are you here?
"Evan/Nathan" (5:00:05 PM): yes
Buffy Zanzibar (5:00:18 PM): I kept you
"Evan/Nathan" (5:01:11 PM):
"Evan/Nathan" (5:01:15 PM): thank you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:01:19 PM): and now you're going to be mad at me for almost evicting you right?
"Evan/Nathan" (5:01:38 PM): no i completely understand your dilemma
Buffy Zanzibar (5:01:40 PM): at least give me credit for being honest
"Evan/Nathan" (5:01:44 PM): i defintely do
Buffy Zanzibar (5:01:57 PM): because it was going to kill me
Buffy Zanzibar (5:02:11 PM): that's why I waited so long - and went back and forth
Buffy Zanzibar (5:02:23 PM): so I'm sorry to do that to you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:02:43 PM): and no matter how many people think I'm an idiot - at least I will feel okay with it
"Evan/Nathan" (5:02:59 PM): good, that's what matters
"Evan/Nathan" (5:03:03 PM): im happy to just have this final 3
"Evan/Nathan" (5:03:14 PM): and if you win and don't take me, that i would be fine with
"Evan/Nathan" (5:03:21 PM): but at least you pissed seb off
"Evan/Nathan" (5:03:24 PM): he is not happy
Buffy Zanzibar (5:04:49 PM): arasfromexile (5:04:15 PM): you made the dumbest MOVE ever
arasfromexile (5:04:18 PM): -__-
Buffy Zanzibar (5:04:30 PM): go fuck yourself and stay in the jury house
"Evan/Nathan" (5:07:27 PM): he's really pissing me off now
Buffy Zanzibar (5:09:07 PM): why?
"Evan/Nathan" (5:09:26 PM): cuz he keeps being like good job on playing her
Buffy Zanzibar (5:11:38 PM): yeah well, good job
Buffy Zanzibar (5:11:40 PM): lol
"Evan/Nathan" (5:12:06 PM): well i certainly did try and guilt trip you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:12:11 PM): I'm kidding
Buffy Zanzibar (5:12:16 PM): oh lol
"Evan/Nathan" (5:12:18 PM): but our relationship isnt fake or a play
Buffy Zanzibar (5:13:17 PM): and yes, I know you tried to guilt trip me - but don't think I didnt' do it to myself too
"Evan/Nathan" (5:13:22 PM): yeah
Buffy Zanzibar (5:13:30 PM): I think I wanted you to talk me out of it
"Evan/Nathan" (5:14:14 PM): oh really lol
Buffy Zanzibar (5:14:20 PM): I am too emotional in this game - I tried to be tough
Buffy Zanzibar (5:14:24 PM): and I couldn't
Buffy Zanzibar (5:15:42 PM): I don't know - after I won POV I just wished you had
Buffy Zanzibar (5:17:54 PM): was Sheila talking to you ?
"Evan/Nathan" (5:19:00 PM): a bit
"Evan/Nathan" (5:19:17 PM): she was just saying she was nervous about what you were going to do
Buffy Zanzibar (5:22:30 PM): oh
"Evan/Nathan" (5:22:35 PM): why?
Buffy Zanzibar (5:22:43 PM): well I told her
"Evan/Nathan" (5:22:51 PM): oh lol
"Evan/Nathan" (5:22:54 PM): i guess thats why she was nervous
Buffy Zanzibar (5:22:58 PM): at the same time I was talking to you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:23:04 PM): and now I'm getting hate PMs from Will
"Evan/Nathan" (5:23:16 PM): thats not cool
"Evan/Nathan" (5:23:30 PM): i wouldnt have done that : )
Buffy Zanzibar (5:23:31 PM): well whatever
Buffy Zanzibar (5:23:34 PM): it is what it is
"Evan/Nathan" (5:23:38 PM): yeah
Buffy Zanzibar (5:23:43 PM): they are probably all pissed off in the jury house
Buffy Zanzibar (5:24:44 PM): Chris told me I got here by kissing ass and riding coattails
Buffy Zanzibar (5:24:48 PM): everyone has an opinion
"Evan/Nathan" (5:24:57 PM): yep
"Evan/Nathan" (5:25:09 PM): sorry you feel so shitty about it all :/
Buffy Zanzibar (5:25:37 PM): I just knew I would be making someone mad
"Evan/Nathan" (5:25:40 PM): just dont worry about them, you have kicked ass
Buffy Zanzibar (5:25:48 PM): but honestly I'd rather have it be will than you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:26:11 PM): yeah Will already told me I won't get his vote
Buffy Zanzibar (5:26:15 PM): I love bitter jurors
Buffy Zanzibar (5:26:47 PM): hey - now it would be dumb of either of you not to take me lol - I will definitely lose haha
Buffy Zanzibar (5:27:19 PM): are you going to try in this endurance?
"Evan/Nathan" (5:30:12 PM): yep
"Evan/Nathan" (5:30:22 PM): im not throwing this at all
"Evan/Nathan" (5:30:32 PM): i am leaving now to go meet with my friends though
Buffy Zanzibar (5:30:37 PM): yeah because part II is going to suck
Buffy Zanzibar (5:30:45 PM): okay
"Evan/Nathan" (5:32:06 PM): cya and gl with the endurance
Buffy Zanzibar (5:32:14 PM): same to you
Buffy Zanzibar (5:32:19 PM): have fun with your friends
And Sheila around the same time:
Buffy Zanzibar (4:22:58 PM): so you missed the pov comp - did you just not care who won?
"Sheila" (4:23:11 PM): not really lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:23:13 PM): since you're hoh
"Sheila" (4:23:16 PM): yeah
Buffy Zanzibar (4:23:17 PM): lol
"Sheila" (4:23:23 PM): if I wasn't HOH I mighta been there lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:23:27 PM): yeah
"Sheila" (4:23:48 PM): congrats by the way
Buffy Zanzibar (4:23:51 PM): thanks
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:00 PM): it would have meant more if you played and I won lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:05 PM): but then maybe I wouldn't have
"Sheila" (4:24:09 PM): lol
"Sheila" (4:24:12 PM): how long did it take you?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:28 PM): I think all 3 of us got to a stopping point close to the same time
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:34 PM): we all had trouble finding Nat's pic
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:37 PM): ironic lol
"Sheila" (4:24:41 PM): lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:24:54 PM): I stopped for a while and came back to it later
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:03 PM): and finally went into the secret basement
"Sheila" (4:25:12 PM): yeah i tried it out last night and I got the puzzle really quickly but couldnt find nat's pic but then seb messaged me and was like NO ONE COULD FIND MY PIC <33333
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:12 PM): good thing I remembered the pw
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:23 PM): haha
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:28 PM): yeah he told me that
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:35 PM): the weird thing is
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:48 PM): I found it and right when I clicked copy on it - he IMs me
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:52 PM): and said - did you find my picyet?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:25:56 PM): it was freaky
"Sheila" (4:25:57 PM): lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:26:06 PM): he said he knw where it was
Buffy Zanzibar (4:26:36 PM): but yeah the puzzle fell into place pretty quickly once I got the first few
Buffy Zanzibar (4:28:12 PM): so I wanted to know if you are interested in a deal
"Sheila" (4:28:22 PM): what kinda deal
Buffy Zanzibar (4:28:34 PM): if I win final HOH I take you and vice versa
"Sheila" (4:29:49 PM): well
"Sheila" (4:30:03 PM): is it one of those things where you're setting it up so both people will take you so you dont have to try?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:30:12 PM): lol no
Buffy Zanzibar (4:30:15 PM): you know I'll try
"Sheila" (4:31:10 PM): who are you voting out?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:35:14 PM): I want to tell him before someone else does. So, if I tell you will you not say anything?
"Sheila" (4:35:33 PM): yeah
Buffy Zanzibar (4:40:35 PM): Nathan
"Sheila" (4:40:56 PM): ok
Buffy Zanzibar (4:44:02 PM): because I feel like you and Nathan will take each other at the end no matter what
Buffy Zanzibar (4:47:54 PM): will you?
"Sheila" (4:49:17 PM): not necessarily
Buffy Zanzibar (4:49:52 PM): okay nevermind
Buffy Zanzibar (4:50:00 PM): I'm not going to ask you for a deal
Buffy Zanzibar (4:50:09 PM): I hate this game
Buffy Zanzibar (4:50:13 PM): I really hate it
"Sheila" (4:51:02 PM): mhm me too
Buffy Zanzibar (4:52:01 PM): why?
"Sheila" (4:52:41 PM): last round was like hell for me
"Sheila" (4:52:48 PM): putting seb up when I knew he'd leave, I felt horrible
Buffy Zanzibar (4:52:54 PM): talk to me - tell me what you are thinking
Buffy Zanzibar (4:54:05 PM): because I feel like shit - and I don't want to vote Nathan out
Buffy Zanzibar (4:54:11 PM): I just feel like I am a moron if I don't
"Sheila" (4:55:14 PM): I was the same way last round, after I put up seb I was like FUCK THIS and voted emotionally and kept him in case nathan did make it a tie so seb would stay and I knew it'd fuck up my whole game bc you and ev would have been livid but I didnt even give a shit lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:55:46 PM): wow did you?
Buffy Zanzibar (4:55:50 PM): lol
"Sheila" (4:55:51 PM): yes lol
Buffy Zanzibar (4:55:59 PM): so the thing is
"Sheila" (4:56:05 PM): and ev was like "do you want to break the tie" and I was like YES
"Sheila" (4:56:08 PM): but he voted seb out anyway
Buffy Zanzibar (4:56:09 PM): I want you, me and Nathan in the end
Buffy Zanzibar (4:56:11 PM): I really do
Buffy Zanzibar (4:56:24 PM): I just feel like I am still in the dog house you know?
"Sheila" (4:56:25 PM): i've wanted that f3 from day 1
"Sheila" (4:58:01 PM): Yeah, I do. I actually felt/still feel in the same postiion as you because ev and I just havent talked as much as we have in the beginning of the game, and he was talking more and more about you lately and he wanted you to stay and I felt the same way even though I could feel your relationship rekindling after you backstabbed us and I felt like I was getting pushed to the side lol
Buffy Zanzibar (5:00:43 PM): I kept him
Buffy Zanzibar (5:03:17 PM): I couldn't do it to him
Buffy Zanzibar (5:03:27 PM): I'm lame lol
Buffy Zanzibar (5:03:33 PM): I can't play these games anymore lol
"Sheila" (5:03:36 PM): i was the same way last round...lol
